Footy Frank Fever – A Woman’s Guide to getting through Grand Final Day

Apparently today is grand final day. Whoop de-do. I only just found out who is playing and have actually never even heard of one of the teams. I have no interest in watching sport on TV. Particularly football and cricket. Watching these sports is about as boring to me as listening to Mr Collins read from a book of Fordyce’s sermons was to Lydia Bennett.  I spent my early childhood years in Queensland surrounded by 4 brothers and a father who were all (and still are) sports mad. When cricket wasn’t on TV, it was being played in the yard. As my brothers got older, rugby league viewing became essential too, particularly cheering on the Brisbane Broncos.

I have no problem with any particular sports person or in the interest others have in it and I can definitely see the appeal of socialising around a television with an alcohol beverage in hand. So this is not a post trying to malign sports fans. Everyone has something they’re passionate about watching. My passions just happen to include such programs as Downton Abbey, Nashville, The Bachelorette or a range of extremely girly movies, some of which I am very aware would be found completely tedious by others. But personally I have absolutely zero interest in watching a group of men kick a ball around a field. I do have a strong interest in food though and as Sharon Strzelecki says ‘Crack open the Tia Mia and put on some footy franks!’. That is a ‘footy fever’ I could totally get on board with.

You’re probably now thinking I am a bit of a princess. Not so. I hate shopping. I am a logical thinker. I enjoy a beer and a good belch from time to time. I just hate watching sport. This being the case, I regularly congratulate myself for marrying wisely: George doesn’t watch much sport. He certainly doesn’t watch cricket or football, which are the most obnoxious time-suckers as far as I can see from observing brothers and the husbands of friends. George may watch an important football game from time to time but his interest in cricket is about the same as mine. His passion is Formula 1, which is usually on in the  middle of the night, so it really doesn’t effect me. So if on State of Origin night I want to use our only TV to watch the latest episode of ‘Hart of Dixie’, I really don’t get any resistance from George. After my childhood in that male dominated home of cricket, football and perpetually upright toilet seats, I feel I deserve a little solace and tranquility. And I’m getting it. Bless that man!

There are some ladies out there who are reading this who are thinking I am the crazy one. You love watching sport and are annoyed at me for this blatant gender stereotyping. Sorry gals. Watch and enjoy the game tonight. I don’t understand you, but I have no problem with you and am happy to wish you well. As for the other women out there who abhor televised sport but will be subjected to it this evening as you have voluntarily yoked yourself together for life with a sports nut, I feel for you. I really do. I won’t say things like ‘You’ve made your bed…now lie in it.’ Never. I will try my best to ease your suffering. To that end, I have assembled a collection of scenes from a few of my favourite girly movies below. Every time you hear a cheer or a burp this evening, please stick in your earphones, play one of these links and be refreshed.

Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for spoilers. If you haven’t see the movie that the clip is from, watch at your own risk 🙂



Ladies, I genuinely hope this has been helpful in getting you through Grand Final Day. If it’s still not enough, crack open the Tia Maria and put on some footy franks and get caught up in Footy ‘Frank’ Fever.


P.S. If you are an email reader and the links don’t appear (or work), just click the link at the very top of this email post and it should take you to the live Carried Away page for viewing.


3 thoughts on “Footy Frank Fever – A Woman’s Guide to getting through Grand Final Day

  1. Connie nightingale October 4, 2015 / 8:44 pm

    Well I have just had the best time watching the grand final with my hubby. I screamed the loudest when the final try was scored and really enjoyed watching the game, the best grand final – EVER. And you missed it!!


  2. Carol Bond October 12, 2015 / 5:29 am

    You’re a crack up 😂And I mean that in a thoroughly positive way!! – love your writing,


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