Today George and I have been married for 13 years. Happy Anniversary to us! I love weddings and my own was magical – I look back with fond memories. Last weekend I attended my cousin’s wedding in Noosa. Creative, fashionable and classy, the wedding reflected the impeccable taste my cousin is known for. I’ve never seen so many flowers and candles. As far as the eye could see there was beauty and elegance. After a river cruise flowing with champagne, we dined into the evening at a gorgeous waterfront restaurant as the sun set over the Noosa river.
Recalling the weekend wedding plus my own nuptials, I have some reflections to share with you:
1. It’s normal to be nervous. I was super jittery the morning of my wedding and couldn’t eat a thing, an extraordinary phenomenon for me as I can always eat. But that morning my stomach was in butterflies. I wasn’t nervous about entering into holy matrimony with George. I was petrified I would fall over walking down the aisle. I had been to a wedding previously where the maid of honour took a header walking into the reception. She actually fell right over like a bowling pin, banging her head on the wall. Embarrassing and potentially life-threatening. She came out of the coma just as the bride and groom returned from their honeymoon and I believe she can now feed herself with a spoon. Just kidding – she had a lump on the noggin and a bruised ego but that’s it. But that day haunted me. Entering into vows that will bind me for the rest of my days on earth to my beloved – not a problem. But the thought of walking in a straight line in heels had me shivering in my slippers. Not just falling over, but doing something stupid, saying something stupid and being the centre of attention for the whole day. Anyone who has been a bride or groom will probably agree that it’s totally normal to need close and unfettered access to the throne room in the hours leading up to the ceremony.
2. Be very careful which wedding tasks you assign to your groom. At the wedding I just attended I got the impression that the groom’s job was the music. The bride walked down the aisle to ‘XO’, a Beyonce song covered by John Mayer, which I adore. At the reception there was a musical duo who sang a range of music all night long and were great. Good job groomie! At our wedding, George’s assigned jobs were limited but important. He was in charge of the photography and videoing. He chose a photographer and enlisted a competent friend to video the ceremony. The photographer was a total dud. The photos he took had bad lighting, no creativity plus he spent most of the reception smoking in the side alley and chatting up some of our more attractive female guests. On top of this, it took George a long time to organise to get the prints. I think it was 11 years before we got the photos back. I’m not joking. We got one semi-decent photo out of the lot, the one pictured here and it’s hanging on our dining room wall. The little mini-video cassettes are still in a drawer . Maybe for our 20th anniversary I may get a DVD of our wedding produced if I’m lucky. #groomfail
3. Fashion fads will date. Take a look at the groom’s hair in our wedding photo. Believe it or not, this spiky gelled look was very common and desirable back in the early noughties. As was the little bush of chin hair. But in 2016, most people who come into our house and see the hanging photo laugh at George’s hair without restraint. I have a suspicion that in 15 years there will be a lot of chuckles over the current slick hipster do’s with the side part. But hey, looking back on wedding fashion is part of the fun of reflection. The big meringue dresses of the 80s, men’s suits from the 70s and basically anything from the 90s. I’m not saying you shouldn’t embrace today’s fashion fads, I’m just saying that one day a room full of dinner guests may enjoy a laugh at your expense. But what goes around comes around so c’est la vie!
4. Cherish things that go wrong as endearing anecdotes. At my cousin’s wedding, the officiating minister (who also happened to be my father, a retired minister) not only dropped the rings but also forgot to say ‘you may now kiss the bride’. Everyone was waiting for it and I sat in my chair boring my eyes into my fathers, giving enthusiastic kissing gestures but to no avail. Finally, the maid of honour said tentatively ‘aren’t they supposed to kiss now?’. A stuff up to be sure but now they have a funny wedding story to tell their future children.
5. Speaking of wedding kisses, it’s best to figure out what you want yours to say. You don’t want it to be too sterile. I watched Gilmore Girls the other day and saw Rory & Jess give each other a pathetic little kiss which Lorelai described as like two chickens pecking each other. But on the other hand, you don’t want to go too far the other way. At my brother’s wedding, he and his bride had the longest, most passionate kiss I’ve seen outside of a Nicholas Sparks movie. Save it for the honeymoon lovebirds. Best to work out a happy medium beforehand and you may even have fun practicing!
6. Marry someone kind. I have no idea how on earth I’ve managed to find someone so kind. I don’t think I’m a naturally kind person, I have to work at it. But George is kind by default. He will come home from a long day at work and forbid me from cleaning the kitchen after dinner. He’ll instruct me to go watch TV and relax as I ‘must have had a long day with the kids.’ If you are going to share your entire life with someone, marry someone kind if you possibly can. That kindness is contagious and it’s easier for me, a villain by nature, to be kind to him because he was kind first.
I’m sure there is more wedding wisdom I could bestow but I must leave you to go get ready for my hot date – just me, George and Matt Damon. I should clarify that we’re dining out then seeing the new Jason Bourne movie, my idea of a perfect night out. George may be kind but I’m one classy gal, no doubt about it. I may even sneak a few Heinekens in for the flick.
Night all x